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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Today is the 18th june, 2008 night time 2.45am now.. I couldn't sleep again after wad has happened jus now.. Still thinking in deep thoughts of wad i n him have said, wondering wad i did wrong again haiz.. Am i so useless guys?? Sometimes i really doubt myself cant b a good lady no matter how much i have changed.. Maybe inside his heart, im not as perfect as wad he think i can be ba.. I really feel so helpless that i can make my decision wise n firm n make my stand for me, which i think he will look down on.. Maybe i always make him worried den he's angry den i always think he's always mad at me n all dat make him feel bad too.. Haiz i really hope he dun always hide these things inside him n tell me abt it.. If not i won noe wad he wants wad he thinking... Haiz.. I really wanna change but i dunno how to.. When i dunno wad i should change n where to start.. I like got no goals to achieve like this how cuz i dunno where to head to.. I need to noe wad is wrong den i can head to the turning point right dear? I jus wanna noe where i did wrong again... Im really upset to see we both always lidat quarel, u think we both will like things lidat to happen always ma? Y cant u jus tell me where i did wrong even i did wrong again pls tell me.. U noe i dun think as well as others, i need time to learn n all dat ar.. Haiz.. *crying in the heart* Sorry for wad i have done wrong, been with him den i noe i have so many flaws n not a good gal le, i have so much to change, dunno when den i can stand up again... No matter wad i jus wish my dear all the best always n stay cheerful =)

11:44 AM

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Hahaz.. Long time no do posting le.. =p Hmm today is the 9th of may which is huiying's bdae hahaz haven wish her happy bdae yet =x Tml must wish her le ^^ Now is abt to 3am le, haiz couldn't sleep.. Been thinking too much i guess.. I'm sorry dear for staying up so late if u are looking at my blog too.. I really dun mean to make u worry for me de.. I been upsetting over ur words thats y i wan u to change away ur temper as well. Maybe im still not good enough for u or haven do enough for u ba =( Sometimes i just wonder how can i make u change away ur attitude towards others, when no matter how much i say n do for u oso does not help u, felt useless at times when i see u can attend to ur customers so well when i cant do so much things like u can.. I just wanna pei u by ur side always no matter what u r facing, we can face it together de ar.. I noe i have many problems to u in regarding on my family's new house, i noe i shouldn't bother u on those things le but i just get too tied down by my family ba.. They keep telling me this n that and i feel kinda annoyed, everything oso find me u noe?? I feel that i have nth to do with all these things, i dunno anything abt the hse things de ar n really dunno wad to do den tell u de.. I dun mean to bring u more problems and make u so tiring de.. I dunno who to face these problems to, im really sorry.. That time i wan u to call my parents is to clear things with dem, tell dem straight and not go on like this and let dem see u that way as things are.. Avoiding it doesn't help ma so just wan u to clear away the problems by urself so that they won't think that u r not responsible or what ar.. I kept telling u i will be by ur side means i will ar no matter wad happens im still always there for u.. I have take in so much, give in so much do so much for u, u tink i dunno u care for me too ma, u tink i never care for u ma?? M i really so not a understanding person to u? I kept quiet doesn't mean i dunno or dun understand u, just that sometimes ur words hurt me too much till i dunno wad to say le, do u noe that? =( I noe u care for me, worry for me cuz of my health, i will try to take care of myself when i recover k? What can i still do to not make u worry my dear? I noe i had always been upsetting u too, i still rmb the day u cried, i was so upset, who mean the most to me is u le u noe ma? =( I just wan to see u happy always and not that moodless face or angry face of urs, how will i b happy to carry on my life positively like this dear? Not all things always look on the bad side den have to tink on the bad side always de.. If u keep thinking that way, doesn't it make things worse and always dull with a face? No matter what happens stay cheerful and i will always be k? =)

11:35 AM

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Hahaz my last update was on the sept 26th till now then i write my story again.. I shall not carry on with the tioman trip memories le.. But anyway was a fun trip having snorkelling thru out.. Now i shall move on, here again xmas in comin n i tot i would hav a wonderful n a special one unlike the past but seem to me i hav chosen the another path n lead to a different route now.. I thought my life would change when i met tis guy.. but cuz of the recent broke up with my bf made me haven ready for a new one n make me hurt tis guy n myself too.. Im actauli glad i noe tis guy although we r frenz now =>

5:55 AM

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Hmm.. Today is a fine day but happened to hav some problems here n there... My OFF day today ^^ with daddy's call from the hospital having some vision problems n me rushin down to TTSH to c my dad tellin me that he goin to hav an eye surgery tml =x He went thru a blood test n a counselling session today, doc tell him tat his eye sight may not get full clear vision for the time being due to passing down from the generation n hav to go thru an operation.. The operation will be 100% success but need some time to get back the clear vision.. Oh Gosh, daddy is a good person tat can rely on de pls dun ruin his life at tis age =( Whoever hav him in his life, im sure she will be happy(xing fu). We actuali went out after his check-up to marina square(winning) to take my work stuffs back to move on to queenstown tml =x n went to molecule, sanrio shop etc to shop shop wor ^^ Molecule reali sell cool unique clocks which are quite costly n saw my fav hello kitty but no one buy for me =x After tat went to hav dinner with dad at koufu(millenia walk) n met my dear there den went to bugis to shop.. On the way back in the train, dear dear actuali wan to bite my finger =x n i pulled off n hurt his lips wor(bleeding). Sry dear i dun wan it tat way de, dun mean to make u angry =(

7:28 AM

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Hmm... Ever since i came back from the tioman trip.. I have never been free Zzzz Been going out with alison n my bro bento to look for job.. Thanks to him for introducing tis winter wear shop job to us ^^ Been workin like 7 to 10 hrs a day everyday lo... Start work on 11th Septmeber however actuali took off on sun cuz kinda tired n not reali used to it yet.. Hmm.. Off on tue again but been out the whole day to send mooncakes to sch, one person take 9 Boxes >.< after that i went to PC bunk n sad to hear that my dear hav been seeing Kelly these days n were very close but i din show any reaction infront of him.. After that i actuali went to meet my maple dear to go for a movie lo but nth much la 1st time met him tinkin that he's not reali that "Gentlemen" yet Hahaz... Like buying food i buy my own, every food i oso take the initiative go buy for him n food oso i take... Zzz LOL hope he dun angry =p cuz i just felt tis way lo f3

8:08 AM

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Here is the picture of the tioman sea near our paya resort.... Beautiful isn't it?? ^^

9:05 AM

Friday, September 7, 2007

Alright i should start with the 1st day of the trip......

"Tick tick", alarm rings... 5am in the mornin i try to wake up but ended up waking up at 5.15am LOL Yawnz i din sleep much cuz couldn sleep till 4plus den i went to bed.. 1st thing i woke up i went to check my lauggage bag again cuz i actuali din bring my torchlight n some toiletries Zzz.. NExt thing i msg GX sama whether we can go sch together.. Hahaz.. N the next thing i knew im prepared to leave house to leave SG le >.< Onli out of my house a call came.. I tot he still angry with me dun wanna go sch with me LOL but he came askin me where im den we go take cab together lo.. Reaching sch of cuz we join our so call "ALEX GROUP" Hahaz till abt 7plus den off we go.. 1st we reach mersing 1st where the ferry come after abt an hour.. So we actuali go shop abit n eat PRINGLES?? Hahaz.. Someone actuali eat PRINGLES when having gastric zzz... Hmm n added with some exhuast wor.. *yuck* 1st thing we reached there, we had our lunch n guys seeing gals la huh.. LOL the weather is actuali very hot but has a reali beautiful scenary there ^^ Our group at 1st consist of 6ppl onli but Bento, the big "BOSS" saw 2 pretty ladies from the Early ChildHood (ECH) n ask dem join us la which turn out to be my good frenz now =) *Alison n yi zhi* After lunch we checked-in to our rooms as we choose ourselves.. GREAT that we choosen the room filled with ANTS =x Once i switch on the air-con, after some time it blew off so much ants on me n mei mei's bed =( Asked the person clean up wait till after we came back from the sea till night time den they changed the bedsheet zzz.. After checked-in, we actuali went for a BIG BIG walk that we dunno where we gonna walk to.. After a long walk, we passed by many resorts n stop at GENTING RESORT whereby Mr Lee den let us noe we on a trekking trip to GENTING RESORT where the honeymooners go n not to the waterfall -_-''' After the trek, we hav to walk back to our resort ourselves to get our life jackets n snorkels n off to the beach for our basic training for the next day ^^ E sea is cold n super ''SALTY'' Me n alex n GX noes how to swim n we actuali became the non-swimmers n join the rest of our group mates n hav fun.. Playin water n opps mei mei's ring fell into the water when teacher asked us to return to the shore =x So many rocks in the sand n we all dive into the water to find LOL n glad that i helped my mei found her precious little ring n everything's fine except for the "ants" bed =x We went back for our dinner n hav ice break games.. I was chosen in my group to go with a fren to play some sort of clapping 1,2,3 n 4 n shouting the other person's name in the new group formed n the loser will hav to do forfeit =.= I was still lucky enough to hav not do any mistakes in the game otherwise gonna get forfeit alone n thats wad many ppl ended up with.. So embarrasing =x In the night, we couldn reali get to sleep either.. Every night we actuali went out of our resort to buy lots of junk food, twisties, oreo n drinks back to enjoy.. We actuali watched tv till we fell asleep the 1st night.. LOL

7:49 AM